Week 13 Quick Picks: Eagles at Packers

Photo: Elvis Kennedy, used via CC BY-ND-NC 2.0

The Eagles, fresh off a game that nobody really thought they would win yet still upset everyone anyway, take their 3-7-1-and-yet-still-in-second-place clown show on the road this weekend, visiting Aaron Rodgers and the 8-3 Green Bay Packers on Sunday. Hoo boy.

Joe was declared the winner last week after his vague pick of “I don’t think the Eagles win this game, but I don’t think they get destroyed” turned out to be the case and Seahawks receiver DK Metcalf did what he does against the Eagles, so he goes first once again.

Joe (6-1-4): Funny how John lost last week in part because he didn’t pick DK Metcalf.

This weekend’s game kicks off at 4:25 p.m., as does next week’s game in New Orleans. In fact, as of now, each of the next four contests is a late afternoon start, and the Eagles’ lone remaining 1:00 p.m. kickoff is the regular season finale against the Football Team (unless Fox manages to flex that one to, like, 7:00 in the morning, where it belongs). Then again, at this point, it could be for the division title and end up flexed into prime time.

First, the Eagles are set up to be slaughtered at the hands of the guy I have deemed The Most Spiteful Man in Sports, Aaron Rodgers. What I mean by that is that there is nobody in any sport right now who derives more fuel for his fire from real and/or perceived slights than Rodgers does. He’s probably trying to find a video clip somewhere in which Doug Pederson didn’t compliment him fast enough as motivation to show up on Sunday.

Did you know that Packers backup quarterback Tim Boyle 1) is a guy who exists? Come on, you’ve never heard of him, either, and 2) has actually appeared in seven games this season? He has no passing attempts, but 10 rushing attempts for a net of negative six yards, which would probably put him third on the Eagles in both categories. Regardless, that means all he does is come out for a few customary kneeldowns. I guess Rodgers really doesn’t like getting his pants dirty.

I bring this up because you are going to see Tim Boyle on Sunday. Just for one series, in the last minute of the game, but you’re going to see him. The Packers defense is nothing to write home about, says the guy who is literally writing about them as we speak, but the Eagles just do not have it in them to make Green Bay suffer. But, for what it’s worth, Rodgers will get some mud on his uniform.

Sunday will be another one of those “never really in doubt but the Eagles cover, depending on when you bet on the game” sort of days. Also, the Eagles have scored 17 points in each of their last three games, so Packers 26, Eagles 17.

Offensive Standout: Robert Tonyan

Defensive Standout: Josh Sweat

John (1-6-4): The Eagles’ offensive attack is non-existent in 2020. The Jalen Hurts cameo and reluctance to use Miles Sanders are confounding. There was so much dysfunction on display against Seattle that the only rational explanation is that Doug Pederson is either waving the white flag or a middle finger – or both – at someone. Odds that this will change as the Eagles’ backslide continues are doubtful, as is Doug’s future in Philly as a coach.

The defense played well against Russell Wilson, but it is doubtful they will have that success against Green Bay. Their inability to force turnovers won’t be an issue because Aaron Rodgers is under center this week. He has only thrown four picks all season against 33 touchdowns. Expect this one to be painful. Packers 34, Eagles 17.

Offensive Standout: Davante Adams

Defensive Standout: Carson Wentz

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